Рецензия на книгу или стихи: зачем нужна? Приглашаем к участию в проекте "Критика вызывали?", который открывает дежурная по порталу Регина Канаева.

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Дежурный по порталу
Регина Канаева
Критика вызывали?

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Положение о баллах как условных расчетных единицах

логотип оплаты

Жанр: Юмор и иронияАвтор: Юрий Мудренко (Юрий Star)
Объем: 7437 [ символов ]
Вий (English version в исполнении робота).
Intended as a one man (let's call him Basil Yegorovich) plant open. Thought he had initially been light. He wanted to work honestly, and pay all taxes and making all necessary payments. So he did. After all, he knew the dog that everything begins with a dream. The dream has grown to the size of space, moving along the way to the head Basil Yegorovich entire contents, mix it and created from all available files, one very large. In short, the cover Vasily Yegorovich already begun to move out. He would stay, Oh, no! Not! The first thing he thought an eye on the premises for the shop and walked to wonder whether he could take it in the lease.
«Of course you can! - Told him a man of KUGI. - Tender are just win, and your room ».
«Well, pure hell!» - Surprise thought Vasily Ye, and asked aloud:
«And what is necessary to ensure that I had won?»
Devil of KUGI smiled enigmatically and drew a slip of paper some figures.
«What is that? The phone number for which I should call? »- Said Vasily Ye.
«Oh, no, this is - other figures. - Replied the devil. - And if you do not have them, then it is unlikely you will be able to win the tender ».
«So what's this? Amount? »- Basil Ye asked in surprise.
«Not quite. - Replied the devil, and then, gently smiling mysteriously told. - It's only a down payment. My share, so to speak ».
«A mug you do not crack, you bastard?» - Thought to himself, Basil Ye, and said aloud: «I have to think about your proposal».
«Think quickly, otherwise the room will inevitably leave». - With regret and said the devil vanished.
Vasily Yegorovich such amount was not, but because he did not win the tender. And so he went to rent kolyasochnaya in a parade in a remote impassable place, where it was not worth experimenting with the shop.
However, the energy Vasily Egorovich was not to occupy. And then the dream. What should be done with it? And Vassily Egorovich decided not to retreat. He took a room for rent.
«That's charming! - Said the devil is another, quite rubbing his hands, because, finally, he found oleaster to shake off for money that no one gift is not necessary. - And this - the amount of your lease ».
With these words he handed Vasily Egorovich lease agreement and its annex, which was spelled out this amount. The contract was for one year with the right extension.
«If you can, let I will pay the full amount of rent for the year immediately! I have this amount ». - Brightened Basil Ye.
«What do you mean why? - Said another devil. - Why did you just spread all that money? Pay better every month in equal installments. Do you do not want to save money, not investing the whole amount at once? And then, the whole amount at once. This, you know, we are not supposed to. All pay monthly. So you pay the same ».
Vasily Egorovich shrugged and said:
«Once laid, so therefore it should be. Discharge parts. I do not care ».
«That's chudnenko! - Said the devil. - Here sign it ».
Basil Ye put his signature and then took a lease with the application, went to the post office to pay one-twelfth of the amount specified in the contract.
«Another idiot». - Grinning after him, thought devil.
The amount was trifling, and Basil Ye, pay it off at your rental space to prepare for work.
The fact that it smelled sobachatinoy, yet it was not the worst. The room required a major overhaul, which took a lot of money. Then I had to purchase equipment and obtain all the necessary documents to get started. And wherever you appealed Basil Egorovich inquiries and permissions everywhere were exactly the same devils, and each shot posited fee.
«How do you all resemble each other! Solid goat faces, I know it! »- Tired of thinking Vasily Ye, continuing its bumpy ride in the bright future of an imaginary capitalism.
Finally, after all the ordeals, the store was closed. Vasily Egorovich exchanged for joy last hundred bucks and bought on the market for sale. But, whatever one may say our new businessman, trading was weak. Shop lasted half a year, and then Basil Ye was forced to close it, the more that the amount of rent for the renovated on its own parade has grown over the half-year, two orders of magnitude.
«So that's the focus of the lease! - Guessed, finally, our hero. - He is in continual growth, not justified by anything other than greed devils, who I signed my contract. What a fool am I! »
We had to do something. Kind of money, what is claimed for rent now, Vasily Yegorovich was not. Shop became a burden, whirlpool, which could sink at any moment. And Vasily Egorovich felt damp sponge.
He took some money from his friends, paid the regular amount due for the rental of premises and closed the shop for good.
Then Basil Ye, gain strength and courage to honestly come to the tax, Tesch in the hope that at least the closure of the company will be held without problems. Certainly not!
How did he was glad the tax devil! He immediately counted him all the numbers that Basil Ye shall pay, if he wanted to close his business. Here Basil Yegorovich clouded consciousness altogether. He closed his eyes helplessly in his hands and rocked from side to side. He wanted to flee, but he could not even move. Some unknown force had chained him to a chair completely.
«You that bad? - Asked sympathetically Tax devil. - Call the doctor! »
How long he remained unconscious, Vasily Ye do not remember. Upon awakening, he distinctly heard the sound of someone's foot, screams, disturbing noise, and questions, questions:
«What happened? Bring him some water! »
«Let me go to him! - I heard someone authoritative voice Basil Ye. - Make way! »
Basil Ye opened his eyes. He was surrounded by devils, and Vij in a white coat (it was his voice heard last Vasily Ye), filling the syringe a solution prepared from an ampoule, in a businesslike manner asked: «Roll up his sleeve. Hold his hand ».
«No! - Shouted frantically Basil Ye. - I do not want ».
With these words he sprang to his feet and pulled toward the front door, trying to escape from the hellish circle of someone's grasping hands. From the resulting strong push Vij not stay on his feet and fell on hard floor, hitting a fall on the edge of the table. Syringe fell out of the decompressed hands and crashed. Throughout the premises into a gallop devils, now and then jumping over chairs and on the go zaprygivaya to the table.
«Here it is! - Shouted after him Vij, pointing to the fleeing Basil Yegorovich index finger of his left hand and right hand in the fall with a bruised eye. - Keep it! »
But the Devils lost their heads, and they could not catch the fugitive. However, the most nimble tore at him from inside out.
Basil Ye ran through the long corridors of terrible rooms, passing by handing out punches to all those who tried to block his path. And then he ran down the street faster and faster, trying to break away from his pursuers, taking his legs farther and farther away from the accursed place. Finally, make sure that it has no more, he went one step. He walked to the nearest church, knelt and cried:
«My God! Where we have so many devils? Save me, O Lord! »
«Never Baule I will not open enterprise, and even more so, closing it will not». - Fervently prayed Basil Ye do not know now where to go. He always waited devils and Vij and his terrible cry: «There he is!»
Vasily Egorovich a little prayer, and then quietly gone mad.
Copyright: Юрий Мудренко (Юрий Star), 2009
Свидетельство о публикации №220168
ДАТА ПУБЛИКАЦИИ: 05.09.2009 09:26

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Ольга О'Нил (Lada29)[ 03.09.2009 ]
   You made me smile:-)) Your version is unlike anything I've ever read. But if everybody can read English...what's your point? Thank you anyway. I enjoyed it! Olga.
Юрий Мудренко (Юрий Star)[ 03.09.2009 ]
   Мне тоже прикольно, потому что перевод делала машина, а не я. Лучше почитайте оригинал на моей страничке.
   And what are your goals? Do you want to translete it?
Ольга О'Нил (Lada29)[ 03.09.2009 ]
   Translate what? Чего перевести-то?:-)))) Хорошая у Вас машина, а я вот сама "мучаюсь"!­:-))))­ И о каких целях Вы речь ведёте? У меня цели меняются в зависимости от обстоятельств. М-дя......

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